Dives of the Valley - the Happiness of the Khachapuris

We've been on hiatus over the holidays here at Dives of the Valley, but thanks to a tip from our sleuth in the field Al Fresco, the staff of Liquid Premium swung into action once again. Best known for ransom kidnappings, giant mustaches and, of course, Joseph Stalin, Georgians have been making inroads into the San Fernando Valley. While they cook all manner of Italian fare including the world's largest pizzas 36" in diameter, that was not what brought us here.

Khachapuris are their claim to fame. This delight from the Caucasus is just what kidnapping gangs munch on while they await hefty ransom payments from western oil companies. Unfortunately, they don't serve Khvanchkara, the delightful Georgian wine that comes in the clay bottle, but who would notice if you snuck some in? A khachapuri is like a calzone, only it's open instead of folded. Typical filling includes two watery eggs, cheese, and a slice of butter. The bold can even add pastrami, but that will put hair on your chest. This joint even got the thumbs up from Ethical Bob! Warning: don't ask us to pay your ransom.

Big Mama & Papa's Pizza
14419 Sherman Way, on the Corner of Van Nuys
Tel: 818-787-6789 Fax: 818-787-8755

Budget Travel Van Nuys

Once derided as a "run-of-the-mill shithole" by Conde Naste Traveller, our beloved Van Nuys has come a long way. In generations gone by, tourists would flock by the thousands to observe the changing of the seasons in New England. Now thanks to our friends in the oil industry, climatological phenomena are no longer confined to any specific geographic region or time of year.

If you've already tapped out the equity in your home, air travel is probably out of the question for you anyhow. Not to worry, we have the vacation for you. After taking in the flora, you can pitch your tent anywhere outside the courthouse. Ample shopping cart parking is available. Be sure to check out the statue of Fernando, a nod to the forgotten indigenous inhabitants of this windswept gridlock. At night for entertainment, sing along with the street musicians in the campground.

Somebody Pass me the Nonsense-to-English Dictionary

Thugs With Heart

Have the notorious gangs of LA gone soft? Who is responsible for this graffiti Valentine? What's next, Hello Kitty?